Balance is the goal in every life.
These last few months have been about learning how to balance again. Balancing family, school, health, sleep, church, extracurricular endeavors, and sanity. The last month and a half have been particularly challenging.
We completed a stretch of 18 assessments and exams in 5 weeks before finishing up last quarter. It was incredible.
Not only was it mentally challenging, but it was taxing otherwise. I think that every parent that is in medical school has the same thoughts about life and family. These thoughts consist of thinking about if you are actually there enough for your spouse and kids. Sometimes this gets intermingled with guilt as the kids are acting up or things are otherwise tough at home.
It makes me wonder if I am doing enough for them at home. If I am spending enough time with them. How will my boys remember me? Loving, caring, attentive?
Sometimes it goes beyond just time at home or with the family. It is sometimes a battle to keep my mind present when I am physically present. Oftentimes I get caught or catch myself not paying sufficient attention to conversation details and/or not giving sufficient credence to familial happenings. Sometimes my wife must feel as though she is talking to a space cadet. Hopefully she (or my boys) never feel as though I don't care.
At the same time, I am learning and stretching with more and more responsibility and the same amount of time each day. It feels good. It also feels good the see the successes and the good things and see them continuing.
Oh yeah, and I will make sure that I am there for the boys and my wife regardless of anything. Hopefully they will feel that way throughout and after this madness.
I am a first Year Osteopathic Medical Student in Missouri.
2 comments:
I couldn't be more impressed with how much you give us. I love you
I'm not in school (yet) and my mind is already gone. D'oh! My poor family.
Balance is hard to achieve. Probably impossible. But thinking back on my own childhood, it isn't the amount of time that my dad spent with me, but the precious moments that stand out. When you can't have quantity, you have to make quality. And when you have quantity, you still have to make quality. That's what is remembered.
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